After many restless hours of thinking, pacing, pondering, and typing, I have come to a conclusion. On only my second day of blogging, I have a horrible, nasty case of writer's block. The words just won't come out, no matter how hard I try. I am simply at a loss of what to write.
I know. It's pathetic.
This has happened to me before, on one of my many failed blogs. I type something up, come back to it in a day a week or a month, and have no idea what to write. I fear that this site may be going in the same direction. I had forgotten how hard these blogs were, and how much time and energy you had to put into them. It feels like a failure in the making.
Okay, pity party's over. You, my fellow readers, probably don't want to read about my sorrows about blogging. You're probably hungry for material, for interesting stuff that will want to keep reading and have your gears turning for weeks. And don't get me wrong, I tried to write you material that would accomplish this, but it never worked.
It all started when I woke up this morning. I went straight to my blog, plopped down at the computer, and started typing. Almost. A more accurate version of this event is me staring at the computer screen with absolutely no direction as to what to write. Oh, don't get me wrong. I had ideas. Thousands upon thousands of things were jumping around in my mind, so I began the process of elimination.
I then began sorting these ideas into categories: too personal, too boring, too long, too random, etc. Eventually, only a few ideas made the cut. With these fresh in my mind, I pondered for a few hours as to how to write them. That's when the problems started.
When I finally zeroed in on a topic, I got through about 5 paragraphs before deleting everything. "It just wasn't right." I defended myself. I tried again. And again. And again. The posts didn't sound like me, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get it to sound quite right. It wasn't going with my normal flow, and after another half an hour, I gave up.
I paced and pondered and desperately tried to salvage something from the wrecked remains of my ideas. Any other thoughts that could have worked as blog material had flown out of my head a long time ago. The one thing I couldn't get my mind off of was the blank, empty wall filling my brain. It was like I was constantly pushing against it and getting nowhere. I was suffering from possibly one of the worst cases of writer's block, and there seemed to be no cure except for wait.
Except if I waited, I would most likely ditch this blog like all of my other ones. And all that would be left would be one sorry blog post that someone would stumble across and think, "Gee, someone sure had committment issues." They would then be on their way and never think about it again.
I had a committment that I had to follow through, but I also had to have material to write about. And that's where I was faced with a conundrum: fufill your promise and write a half decent post and regret it later, or write nothing at all and forget about it.
Somewhere along the way, I was struck with a brilliant idea. Why not write about the one thing that kept me from writing: writer's block? After giving myself a pat on the back, I plunked down at the computer. This time, I was not failed. I knew exactly what I wanted to write. Who knew that inspiration could come from so many places?
Alas, I feel that I have done the impossible. I have turned writer's block from a horrible, dreaded enemy to a source of inspiration, and even something of a friend.
Perhaps I'm getting the hang of this blogging after all.